These boots are made for...well, definitely not walking.

So I'm in the markey for some new boots. I didn't know this wuld be such a challenge, but I was wrong. I tried on and looked for a lot of different pairs today, and I have some thoughts to share.

Dear salespeople: If I need a size 9, don't bring me a size 10 and tell me I may as well try it. Also, a size 10 is not the same thing as a 9 wide.

Dear bootmakers: I am not a pirate. I do not want an above the knee boot that looks like I stole it off of Jack Sparrow. I also don't want to wear above the knee boots with a six inch heel that take the look from Jack Sparrow to hooker. Maybe a nice flat, mid-calf boot. Is this so hard to find? (yes, yes it is)


and now to address the Universe:

Dear Universe: Just some cute black boots that aren't going to hurt my feet. That's all I'm asking for. Please? Please? Please? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

Let's go the mall!

Or not. Y'all. Last night I was full of delicious food. I went to an all fondue restaurant yesterday and it was quite scrumdillicious. We also went to the ballet....that actually came first. And conveniently, the restaurant was only two miles from the restaurant (the <a href="http://www.meltingpot.com/"> Melting Pot</a> exists in several states, and you should check it out!). It took us 45 minutes to go those two miles. Why, you ask? Because we had to go past the mall. There were a total of three accidents, one of which happened directly in front of us (don't worry, we didn't need to stay and witness, our view was blocked by an SUV) and involved three cars.

FORTY-FIVE MINUTES.

Y'all. I know there is only a week until Christmas. And I understand that there is shopping to be done. Well, for other people. I'm finished (neener neener). But honestly? It's time to take a deep breath, and learn how to use the internet. 45 minutes. That's insane! And it's a fairly crappy mall!

Anyway, I hope everyone has finished their Christmas shopping now, because I have to go to Wal-Mart tomorrow to buy tissue. a Fairly nasty cold forced me through my backup supply rather quickly and I can't do without them, especially this time of year. That said, if I run into the kind of nonsense at the store tomorrow as was going on at the mall yesterday? It will be hard to resist making with the punches.

ALSO. What is up with the post office? I was trying to decide between shipping my only two Christmas packages priority vs. non. The difference was only 17 cents and if I sent it non-priority it would have taken over two weeks. THAT IS RIDICULOUS. For people wondering why the post office is failing? See the above. That's as ridiculous as going to the mall at this point. Honestly.

Double Click This

Poorly designed websites. Especially for big companies. I want to give you my money. Make it easy on me. Don't make me hunt and click and look for help in order to find what I need to find. Make things clear and easy and make a place to see all the current promotions so it's clear and straight forward.

Also. Just so we're clear. The thing where a sparkly whatsit starts following the cursor around when I get to your webpage? Not only do I not want to give you money. I want to find you and make with the punching instead. Just FYI

Black Friday

Actually, today turned out to be an excellent day and I got a mad deal  ($150 smackers!) on a KitchenAid stand mixer, which is basically the best thing that could happen short of the man of my dreams showing up on my porch to propose. For the record, if that was to happen, I would have preferred the mixer to a ring. And everyone was civil to everyone! There was one lady ahead of me in line who was doing a lot of the sighing and eye rolling to which I saw, clearly, I am dealing with an amateur here because I spend that much time in line on a Monday  night trying to buy milk.

But today what's making me cranky is the "best of" 2010 book list by the New York Times. The fiction list sounds SO boring. It's all coming of age and family drama and...you know what's interesting to me? Other than Jonathan Franzen, they aren't books people seem to be talking about. I'm really tired of being told that the best books are ones that sound like I'm supposed read them, rather than ones that sound actually interesting. Best of what? Not the bestsellers, I assume. Best of books that reference family drama and "coming of age"? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Also, people, 3-D movies. Sure, it's got some cool effects, but is that really necessary? The glasses are heavy, and uncomfortable, and not so hot over the glasses you're already wearing when you are nearsighted as crap. MEH!

But on a non-cranky note, Tangled was totally cute. Some of the best music Disney has had in a movie in a while.

Happy Thanksgiving

What am I cranky about today? Very little. Maybe an excess of sweets has given me a headache.

But that's small potatoes compared to the many things I have going for me, which includes this blog. I've really enjoyed doing this project this month, and I want to try and keep it up next month. Trying to decide whether I'm going to keep this blog cranky or try a different theme.

So Happy Thanksgiving, count your blessings. Be cranky about the fact that the whole day was spent gearing up for Christmas shopping, and know that  tomorrow...I'll be cranky about the fact that I totally got suckered into Black Friday shopping. Lowe's is having a helluva sale, and I've got some hard to shop for men on my list.

Lead, Follow or Get out of my Way

Today I went fabric shopping. I am a novice sewer, and am just learning some of the most basic skills. I have made several skirts, a few aprons, and with great amounts of assistance, one fleece vest. I have decided that it is time to expand my repertoire, and with an expert assistant (my mom), I have set out to do just that. I am working on making a flannel bath robe (it's the snuggliest!), and am going to try making a pair of workout pants and a pair of dress pants. So today I visited Hancock's Fabrics and Hobby Lobby. Now, as far as it goes, these places are like crafty Nirvana. Michael's only wins me over with it's excellent bead selection. If they would suck it up and start selling fabric, they could have my heart forever. As it is, my loyalties are divided.

What none of these places has over the other, however, is decisive customers. I love a craft store. I can spend HOURS in a craft store. Next to a bookstore, they are my favorite kind of store. But once I'm in line, I know what I want. I do not get in line to have fabric cut and stand there dithering, holding up the line and watching it get longer when I try to decide just how much fabric I need. If I don't know, I hop out of line and reassess. Why? Because everyone in line may be smiling and being patient and sweet, but inside, we're hoping your fabric isn't flame retardant and that you use a lot of candles. MAKE A DECISION.

Don't wait until you're being rung up at the checkout to decide if you really need those 50% off candle holders. The person standing behind you is thinking about braining you with one. Miss Scarlet, in the (Hobby) Lobby, with the candle stick. That's your future.

Don't park your cart in the middle of the aisle while you dither over the pink ribbon versus the baby pink ribbon. Move to one side so that those of us who have a list and a clue can get in, get out and get on with our lives.

And finally, a call back to a previous post where I mention that patterns make me crazy...the one for the bathrobe? gave the wrong fabric allowance. Good times, everyone. Good times.

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here (here being the fitting room, of course)

This weekend I am going to visit my mother and among the many other things we have planned, we are going fabric shopping. I am a novice sewer. I started with skirts, moved up to aprons, and now I have my eye on pants. Why not just buy these things, you might ask. Well, as far as skirts and aprons go, you can get way better fabric with cooler patterns when you are making your own stuff than you ever could if you were buying off the rack. As far as pants go....

Any woman can tell you that shopping for pants is like descending to the 7th circle of hell. Actually it's more like the 8th circle of hell, because by the time you've tried on five pairs of pants and none of them fit, you feel like all clothing makers are frauds and pants sizes are lies and what is the problem? I recently tried on five pairs of pants all of them from the same manufacturer and found an 18 to be too big, a 26 to be too small, and a 20 to fit right in the waist and be so big in the legs that I looked like I was wearing a diaper and you want to talk about CRANKY? THAT will make you cranky. It makes no sense. (The irony here is that they were called Right Fit pants.) If I shop in one store, I'm an entirely different size than if I shop in another store.

People chalk this up to vanity sizing. I disagree. Sure, that's an aspect of it (and a ridiculous one. Hey, if we didn't put so much emphasis on being a size two, you wouldn't have to vanity size the clothes. People be a size 12 or 14 without hating themselves. Just a thought.), but it's definitely not the be all end all. Clothing sizes are so inconsistent. Ok. You want to vanity size me? FINE! Just be consistent. Manufacturers should be held to some kind of standard size chart.

And it's not just pants, although pants are the worst. It's underwear and shirts and shoes and it's all RIDICULOUS. I now wear, in shoes, anywhere from a size 8.5 to a size 10! I understand fluctuating a half size, even a full size up. I could accept that. But where does it end? How does it go from telling the person in the shoe store "can you bring me an 8" to "bring me one of each, I have no idea what size I wear." We're making ourselves crazy. We're making people in the service industry crazy. Every time you go to buy a piece of clothing, you have to try it on, probably in three different sizes going in both directions until you find one that works. Then they have to fold and replace everything you don't buy, and sometimes I don't buy anything because I get so tired of trying on clothes that I give up. Even men's sizes don't run true anymore, and those are generally based on measurements! HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

All I ask for is pants that fit, and if I have, I'll make them myself. And talk about cranky? Wait til you find out how I feel about pattern instructions.