Kids today (aka I am so old, aka don’t they got no fetching up, aka get off my lawn)

So as an academic librarian I am constantly exposed to TODAY’S YOUTH. And let me just say, what the hell? Do these kids parents no raise them to have any manners at all? So here is a list of things that because I am clearly so so old, make me absolutely crazy.

-          Wearing your headphones or earbuds or whatever you want to call them while talking to people, or trying to get away with only taking one out during class.  If you are talking to someone, please give them your full and total attention. If you don’t want to listen to what I have to say bad enough to take those things off, why should I listen to you, or waste my breath trying to talk to you?

-          Take your hats off inside.  That is so rude.  Do they not teach that that is rude anymore? And that includes your hoods, y’all. It is not raining inside, you do not need your hood up like that and you look like a moron/jerk. HOODS DOWN.

-          Does no one actually say “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me” anymore? I mean, seriously? Standing in the door of my office staring at me until I happen to look up my work and notice you doesn’t do anything but scare the pee out of me. A polite “excuse me, I need some help” goes a lot farther. Do not stick papers in my face and go “is this right” or interrupt me while I’m helping someone else to say “I need copies”. Ask politely!  It will make me actually care about what you need!

-          And on the subject of copies, there is such a thing as copyright! I understand that you don’t want to have to buy your own copy of a book. School books are expensive! But I am only allowed to copy 50 pages from any one document and that’s it! If we break those rules and we get caught they will take away our copier and then no one gets any copies! You are not so much more important than everyone else that you should be the reason that on one else gets any copies ever because you “REALLY NEEDED” those extra pages. Don’t whine!

-          Dress like a grown up. No. Not even that. Dress like a five year old if you want, but dress like a five year old whose parents actually care enough about them to dress them in clean clothes without holes in them. And while we’re at it, hygiene is good, and that includes showers, brushing your teeth and PLEASE GOD  washing your hands after you use the bathroom.

-          Show some respect. For yourself. For your classmates. For your professors. For the library equipment, for the other people using the sidewalks. For whatever poor soul you happen to encounter during the day.

-           If you think everyone on campus is rude or unfriendly, consider this, if you are walking along with your hood up, earbuds in, looking at your phone, you’ll never notice if someone says hello or smiles at you as you pass by.

Drunks in the Basement or How about you get a hobby, moron?

Ok. In the interest of full disclosure, let's start this with a little honesty. the only booze in my life is tucked away in the back of my baking cupboard, and has been used twice...for making biscochitos. And that's the closest I've come to booze since I was 22 and went on thyroid medication, and off the good stuff. And even when I could drink, drinking to excess never appealed to me. That said, I don't believe that it invalidates what I am about to say.

And what I am about to say is this:

GROW UP.

I understand that when we first reach legal drinking age (and for some of us, prior to that) alcohol has the boozy appeal of being a grown up and yet having an excuse to act like a moron. And even now, I can see the appeal of having a drink with dinner, or kicking back with a glass of wine (and by wine, I mean a daquiri...I miss you, daquiris). But there must come a time when you think to yourself "I am too old for this crap," and put down the beer bong.

I recently encountered a group of fully grown adults having a little bit of a college reunion who had not seen each other in about ten years. And so what did they decide was the best way to celebrate their reunion?

By going to Applebees to drink. Applebees, y'all. Is that not the saddest thing you have heard all week?

So we're clear all of these guys are around 37 or so.

Is it just me? Doesn't it seem like there should

Ok. This post has been derailed bu a commercial of the Charmin bears rubbing toilet paper on themselves and cuddling while fake Barry White plays. then we get mysterious blue liquid and then cuddling on the couch. And either their is a toilet in the living room or a couch and a fireplace in their bathroom. And she sits on the couch and watches him go. Is it a one room cave and they've developed a scatological fetish? And where are the little bears that are in all the other commercials?

Listen bears, I didn't say anything when you did the bit with the telescope and the clinging paper. I let the toilet paper destroying an entire lake for one fish thing slide. But this? I can't let this pass. What is wrong with you people? This is sick.

Anyway, I've lost my momentum, but in conclusion, drinking just to get drunk eventually goes from "what kids do" to either "pathetic" or "maybe you should go to AA."

Ok, I'm still stuck on the bears. I don't even know. Judge for yourselves.