A Bit of a Thor Spot

So tonight I went to see Thor The Dark World. It was pretty good! The theater was so crowded. I do not enjoy crowds. This is why I am a lady who likes small town living.

One of the annoying things was the guy I was sitting next to. He had a wide stance problem. This is where a man's ass may fit in one seat, but that seat is apparently not large enough to accomodate his enormous balls, and so he has to sit with his legs so wide they take up part of my space as well.

Men. Why do you do this? Are your balls so suffocated by sitting with your legs only shoulder width apart that  you just can't do it? Is that really what's going on? Or are you just an incosiderate dickhole who feels like you deserve space more than anyone else?

BECAUSE YA DON'T. Put ya legs together and sit up like a grown up.

Keep reading

It's time for another cranky book review!

Christmas Ever After

Attack of the Blorg

What follows is a conversation with my friends at irc. Blogvember, I am trying.

Me: I already blogged my blog for today, too, because, blog
Me: blooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooog. It doesn't look like a word because it shouldn't be one! blog.
Me: Blorg
Kelly: heh. 
kelly: blorg
kelly: blorging
kelly: I'm a blorger 

Me:how much less scary would the borg be if they were the blorg? hah

Me: I feel like THIS should be a blog post. 

Me:  or a blorg post 

Kelly: AWESOME IDEA (so you can blame her for this) 

Me: the difference between a borg and blorg is that the blorg take pictures of you for instagram before they assimilate you

Mouse: ASSIMILATION IS FUTILE, YOU WILL BE RESISTED

Me: more like assimilation is futile you will be run through a filter! 

thousand: or seven, depending on the hipster 

Me: I think you mean blorgster.

Me: they were steampunk before having goggle eyes were cool, man.  

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd scene (well not really, there was quite a bit more blorging nonsense to be had, but it devolved rapidly) 

And now you know - when I'm not being cranky I am being intensely, nonsensically, nerdy.  

 

Banana Phone

Well, the last few days have been an adventure in phones for me. My phone, now forever known as my PREVIOUS phone was an HTC Droid Incredible 2. It was a nightmare basically from the beginning and the one that is even now laying on the arm of my couch not charging is actually my third phone is less than two years. The first one was also an HTC, although I don't remember the model. It was defective right out of the box. Now, in theory this could be due to the "Verizon Retailer" who sold it to me, and was then unable to activate it correctly. So it was replaced by the first Droid 2. That was replaced a few months later by another Droid 2 after the headphone jack quit working. The charger that came with the replacement was fairly short lived, but I just used a charger from an old phone that fit, because I was tired of screwing with replacements

And as of Monday, my latest and last Droid 2 stopped charging. Well. Sort of. If I hold my mouth just right and tilt it sideways and prop it up it will at least try to charge. Yeah. So you can imagine that this is not ideal. After a bit of fussing and fighting with Verizon I was able to get my upgrade 5 months early (thanks Verizon!) and today I purchased a Moto X by Motorola.

So far, I like it. It surpassed Iphone 5 and the Samsun Galaxy 4 in both battery life and durability tests, and the rest of the stats are surprisingly similar. One thing it did have going for it - it is the only smartphone currently designed and manufactured in the U.S. which I thought was pretty cool!

There are some small issues. It appears to be possessed, for example. Earlier, a small red hat floated across the screen and when I touched it, a cartoon started to play. I was teaching class and even though I muted the phone the voice activation activated and started talking back to me. It startled me so much I closed my browser window that I was sharing. And now I can't get it to activate on purpose. I'll work on that.

But other than the slightly steep learning curve, so far I am very happy. Watch this space for two days from now when I can't get it to do what I want and retract everything.

DUN DUN DUN DUN.

rock the vote

There were no elections in my town today, but it there is one in your area you better have voted. If not, then you have made your decision, and I don't want to hear SQUAT from you until the next go 'round when you have hopefully made better choices.

Diet Advice and by Advice I Mean Lies

This line. THIS LINE: "Order an individual dessert to share among three people. One or two bites, and you'll be satisfied."

What a load of horse crap.

I mean sure, if you're at Shoney's order a brownie sundae thing and it's the size of your head, or you go to the Cheesecake Factory. Fine. Whatever. But let's be real. Most of the time you do not eat two bites of cake and then go "oooh nooo. Now I'm perfectly satisfied. You guys eat the rest."

COME. ON. I think there's two problems going on here.

1) The idea that we have to have dessert after every meal. This is a falsity. I think it is largely brought on by the idea that "oh, well I was GOOD today, so I deserve something." Listen. Food should not be something we punish or reward ourselves with. That creates a weird and unhealthy relationship with our dinner plates. If you want a piece of chocolate eat a piece of chocolate but don't tee hee hee about how bad you are being. And eat dessert if you want dessert but don't eat dessert every day after every meal because you're "supposed" to have dessert.

2) The idea that we should keep eating if we are full. This goes back to the idea that we eat dessert because we are "supposed" to eat dessert. Or clearing our plates so we don't waste food. This one was actually hard for me to learn. I felt so strongly that I was SUPPOSED to want seconds or SUPPOSED to clear my plate or OF COURSE I want dessert that I would literally ignore my feelings of fullness to keep eating. I would eat until y stomach hurt and I would eat until I was sick and then I would (of course) be miserable. And most of that was simply because I felt an obligation to EAT.

3) We should quit eating even if we're not full. So much of diet advice is conflicting. Eat! Don't eat! Eat this, not that! Eat that not this! Eat what you want it doesn't matter, only calories matter! Don't eat carbs!  Don't eat protein! It's not a diet it's a lifestyle change! etc etc. What it really comes down to is that we are TRAINED TO IGNORE OUR BODIES.

As a group, our relationship with food is messed up. And pretending we're happy with a bite when we want a slice is part of that.

Sunday Schooled

So, we're trying to start a new Bible study at my church for...young women? Youngish women? Women who are too old to be in the youth group but not quite up to the ladies' class yet?

It's a little bumpy. So far we have had plenty of interest, but uneven participation. We're almost through our first book and we're going to start the next one. I'm hoping the next book will spur a little bit more active interest. I think people WANT the class. However, most of us who are participating also want...that extra time in the morning. hah. There' hasn't really been a class at my church for this age group, and we aren't used to having to get up in time for Sunday School. So, we were off to a good start and have had a new bumps since then.

I wanted to start this class, but I had a lot of support doing it from people who were interested in attending, and two other women helped me plan it. I was struggling at church. I want to be an active part of the church but I feel like maybe there's no place for that to happen. This class is my attempt to find another way to be part of the church. I know that I'm not alone in that, because I've heard the same thing from other women in the church.

So why is it so hard to feel like this is taking off? Has anyone else gone through something like this? Have any suggestions?