Monday, February 28, 2011

In which I really get political.

Watch out! This one's a doozy.

Alright folks, as always there are plenty of things I’m cranky about. But I have cranky blog writer’s block because the thing I’m MOST cranky about is politics which I didn’t really intend to discuss here, but forget that. It’s time to lay it on the line.

So, in my home state of Kentucky: 

Are you people REALLY trying to make it so the EPA doesn’t belong to the coal companies? Cause if so, that’s a brilliant plan. Way to make sure that everyone involved knows you care way more about your campaign funds and kickbacks than about the safety and health not only of the people of Kentucky, who get to drink the contaminated water and breath the contaminated air, but also for the land that makes up a beautiful state. Please continue to blow the tops off our mountains and ignore the continuing environmental impact. I can’t imagine how that could possibly go wrong. There is no easy solution to this. Kentucky runs on coal. We need the jobs, and we need the fuel. We don’t need to buckle under to the coal companies’ every demand. Why not? Because they need the coal in our mountains to run. We’ve worked for them for a long time. Maybe they should start working for us.

In Wisconsin: 

Are you people kidding me? This is just embarrassing to the U.S. and people in EGYPT are now supporting protestors here. Zombie Jimmy  Hoffa is gonna rise from his grave (he is likely sleeping with the fishes, after all) and come eat Scott Walker’s brains. Personally, I suspect the poor guy is going to go hungry. Listen, folks. There’s no denying that some unions have used their power unwisely, but to go nerdy on you here, there is a dark side and a light side to the force and all those of you who enjoy things like weekends and lunch breaks and minimum wage should thank God the unions exist. To the people who are saying we don’t need the unions? The very fact that they are trying to bust the unions means we still need unions, because they aren’t about to then hand that negotiating power back to the individual workers. They’ll do that and suddenly it will be all “this is chaos! The workers cannot handle their own negotiations, if only there was some kind of group they could join that would make this easier. In the meantime, we’re just going to go ahead and screw them over. Thanks, folks! Remember us when it’s election time!”

On Planned Parenthood: 

Let’s put aside the fact even though  the country is still struggling to recover economically, that the unemployment rate is still high, and something like one in five families are struggling to eat, the Republicans have decided that the thing to worry about is what I do with my uterus.  Instead let’s focus on the fact that only about 3% of what Planned Parenthood deals with relates to abortion, that not every Planned Parenthood offers abortion and that the best way to prevent unwanted pregnancies that lead to abortion is to provide comprehensive health care including affordable access to birth control, which Planned Parenthood provides. Let’s look at the fact that the Republicans in the House have already voted to DEFUND Planned Parenthood (AND PBS) but have decided to let NASCAR continue to receive 7 MILLION DOLLARS in funding that comes directly from taxpayer dollars. I don’t have anything against NASCAR but I’d rather have access to affordable health care and PBS. Why is it the Republican’s claim to want small government but there’s still room for them to insert themselves into my uterus? Why is it that NASCAR benefits but women suffer under Republicans?

On Women’s Issues: 

I have recently had several young women tell me that feminism is no longer necessary and it was okay, you know, in the past, but we are totally equal now. So let me just say to this…when women are equally represented in politics? We might be equal. When a woman winning an election is no longer news soley because of her gender? We might be equal. When politicians quit trying to win political points by screwing over women? We might be equal. When the pay gap is finally closed and women make the same money for the same work as men? We might be equal.  Until then, we need to keep fighting. 

On Women’s/black/latino, etc etc History Month: 

If I hear one more  white guy say “I don’t see why we need Women’s History Month or Black History Month, where’s White Man History month?” I will scream. I swear. NEWSFLASH. White Man History month is 365 days a year. They are the primary target in just about every history class, not because, as one student suggested “they are the only ones that did stuff” (I swear they actually said that and then my nervous tick came back. La la la.) but because they were the ones writing it down and they only recorded what they did.

Separation of Church and State 

Listen folks, I am a Sunday School teacher. I am a Christian. I believe there is one God, with a big G. I also believe in the separation of church and state.  I believe in that for two reasons. Because I may be a Christian, but the government of the United States needs to represent all of its citizens, and not everyone shares my beliefs. And I believe in it because separation of church and state goes both ways. I don’t want the government in my religion anymore than I want my religion in the government. People seem to have forgotten so much of America’s history. Namely, that many of our ancestors fled here to avoid religious persecution that was being sanctioned by the government. The separation was not only there to keep religion from deciding on how we govern, but also to keep the government from deciding on how we worship. 

On Civility in Politics: 

Look, I write a blog about my anger. Clearly, I am not a model of restraint and patience, here. That said, I think we should all be ashamed of how politics has devolved in the last few years. I had to have a conversation with my Sunday school class about politics. Why? Because they were talking about how they HATE Obama and he’s EVIL.  Now, clearly, I have a liberal slant here. I’m not going to deny it. But I didn’t preach to them that they should have voted for Obama or that their parents should have voted for Obama. Instead, I said that hate is wrong. If there’s anything that EVERYONE can take from the Bible, regardless of a myriad of (often twisted and out of context) interpretations, it’s that Jesus wants us to love each other.  When asked what the greatest command is, he said "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." (NIV, Mark 12:28-31). I know and like the parents of these kids. But the kids didn’t pick up on Obama is evil, by themselves. We are to love each other, despite politics, despite everything.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Hearts and Roses

And now, a word about Valentine's Day.

I don't hate it. I am a single lady, and what I really hate? Is the idea that I should be marinating in some kind of stabby bitterness because of that.

So here are two thoughts:

1) In a world filled with negativity and flat out meanness, a holiday that celebrates love is not a bad thing.

2) Other people's happiness doesn't take anything away from me, or from you, so a holiday that celebrates people being happy together?  Doesn't make me less because I'm a person on my own.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Body Talk

Y'all, I apologize. I have sucked at updating so far this year. But the good news is, I have lots to be cranky about and I am going to lay some cranky on down the line for you RIGHT. NOW.

We're just a little over a month into the new year and people are still trying to do their New Year's Resolutions and either failing or succeeding and because we live in a world where your worth is measured by the size of your behind, many people have resolved to reduce those proportions.

I am not here to tell you should lose weight or that you shouldn't. My rear related concerns are typically much more about the amount of pain I'm feeling post workout, because my trainer enjoys making us all do squats on an almost pathological level.

Your body is your problem and you are the one who needs to be comfortable about it, not me. But because this is a blog where I shoot off my mouth about things that annoy me, I'm going to tell you what annoys me about other people's bodies. Maybe even YOUR body.


Here we go.

I hate it when people feel compelled to put their own bodies down. "waaaah. my butt is too big, my boobs are too small, I have a muffin top, these pants make my butt look big, I'm so hideous! I hate my nose/eyebrows/ears/other unspecified body part because goodness knows that if it's permanent we will find a way to declare it ugly and horrible."

We all have things about ourselves that make us unhappy, but these little spiels of misery are generally aimed at either fishing for compliments or bringing other people down to your level and I HATE THAT. My problems with my body are the ways that it limits me. I want to do more, I want to do it faster, and I want to do it perfect. That last one is unreasonable, because of the many things that I am? PERFECT IS NOT ON THE LIST. But I'm doing my best. Instead of whining about how I hate my thighs, I'm doing squats until my gluteous is feeling maximus amounts of pain the next day. I got news for you, that's not going to reduce the size of my thighs, but they do increase the muscle mass I have to kicking people's butts when they whine.

What do you think people are going to say to you when you go "oooh, I'm soooo hideous, I wish I looked like a movie star...ooooh I hate myself?" Are they going to say "you're right! Have you considered surgery?"

Or standing around talking about how bad you feel about your body because you're so fat or so bony or so something and and and ...and everyone around you is forced to compare themselves to you and think "ugh, if she's that skinny and she thinks she's fat she must think I'm a cow".

So please, take a moment to think through the negative feelings you have about your body. And then? Talk to a shrink, start a blog, write some bad poetry, but please, PLEASE don't come talking to me about it. It's your body! Love it! Hate it if you must, but keep your body negs out of my positive space.