Monday, April 30, 2012


So someone in my twitter linked this article: about how some desserts at fast food places are worst for you than desserts at OTHER fast good places. I for one am shocked. SHOCKED I tell you.
Look, I get that some people need to have things explained to them, although I’ve never met any of these people who need quite this much help, but whatever. But articles like the one above are presenting  false equivalencies. A small ice cream sundae has fewer calories than a large chocolate shake? That’s great. But not really a fair comparison. How does it do calorie wise if you make the sundae a large or the shake a small? Frankly, the whole thing is a bit silly. A small ice cream has fewer calories than a large ice cream! Ice cream has more calories than apples! Hats go on your head! Shoes go on your feet! Obvious statements help no one!

The other day I was in a grocery store and saw a woman stop to look at the nutritional information on cupcakes. CUPCAKES. Here’s the thing, y’all. THEY ARE CUPCAKES. They have no nutritional value! They aren’t supposed to! The frosting is made of Red Dye #6 and the tears of kittens! EAT UP, IT IS DELICIOUS. I mean, are you kidding me? I look at the nutritional value on a loaf of bread to decide which one has less sugar and more fiber. However, I’m not comparing the nutritional data on cupcakes because…CUPCAKES.

No one needs to feel guilty about having a cupcake or a milkshake or an ice cream or whatever. Eat like a reasonable, grown-up person. Have meat and veggies and carbs and yes, even DESSERT without feeling like your deserve to be fat, should feel guilty, or that you’ve “been naughty”, because guess what? Adults aren’t naughty. Little bitty ol’ babies are naughty. Toddlers? Naughty. Grown-ups who had the nerve to eat what they wanted? NOT NAUGHTY. Unless it was my yogurt and you stole it out of the fridge in which case you are still not naughty, but you are kind of a douchebag and by kind of I mean totally.

In summation, sure. Think about what you are eating. Make good choices (this is my new slogan, btw. More on that to come). Eat what makes you feel good, and not just for five minutes, but for the day and the next day and the day after that and if that means eating grilled chicken breasts on a salad 5 days a week and horfing a six pack of mini cupcakes, well, I’m not judging you.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Things that are making me cranky: a list

1) The last season of Eureka starts tonight. THE LAST ONE. Why you gotta do me like that, Syfy?

2) My back is still all janky.

3) The possibility that I know more than one person (and by know I mean might be related to) who may be literally certifiable

4) Revising an article I'm writing about a grant. I hate revisions. I haaaaate theeeeem.

5) My schedule for this week? Also janky. Inexplicably so. And getting worse. 

6) Baseball. I like baseball. I feel like I'm not very good at watching it? Like maybe I'm on the baseball shortbus because I don't really get all the statistics?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


Y'all. Why do I never get AWESOME songs stuck in my head? It's always the worst, stupidest songs. The two that have been tormenting me lately prove this to be terribly true. They are Red Solo Cup by Toby Keith and Drunk on You by Luke Bryan.

Now, I have to give Toby Keith a pass on this. Red Solo Cup is indeed an extremely stupid song,but it cracks me up and mentions Abbott and Costello, so I can forgive the song.



The chorus to the song is as follows:

Girl you make my speakers go boom-boom
Dancing on the tailgate in the full moon
That kinda thing makes a man go mmm hmmm
You're lookin' so good in what's left of those blue jeans
Drip of honey on the moneymaker gotta be
The best buzz I'm ever gonna find
Hey I'm a little drunk on you
And high on summertime

LUKE BRYAN. Is this how you want to go down in history? You've already got one song about girls dancing on the tailgate. It's called Shake it for Me. There has to be a limit, man. And you have passed it. THIS IS A TERRIBLE SONG. The song in my head would like you to stop it. Stop it RIGHT. NOW.


Tuesday, April 3, 2012


SO, life is a bit of a mess right now. Basically, my body continues to treat me like I am the enemy, which includes these crazy  muscle spasms in my back. I can't take muscle relaxants forever...I really can't take them at all, due to my boss frowning on my using the keyboard for a pillow...I''m not sure she minds the napping, but the drool is a problem. So, my dr. finally sent me to get physical therapy, and I thought I was going to go one time and they would give me some exercises to do and that would be it. But NO! It's like real physical therapy! I don't even know! So I've gone for two weeks, and today, they hit the spot. not just the little spots around. The real deal. The source. And I INSTANTLY had tears in my eyes. So ...they want me to go back tomorrow. Good stuff. And they like...made it angry. IT's like my back is the Hulk. Or Chulthu. They've awakened the sleeping beast, at any rate. So if you want to know why I'm cranky? They keep poking spots that hurt.