Body Talk

Y'all, I apologize. I have sucked at updating so far this year. But the good news is, I have lots to be cranky about and I am going to lay some cranky on down the line for you RIGHT. NOW.

We're just a little over a month into the new year and people are still trying to do their New Year's Resolutions and either failing or succeeding and because we live in a world where your worth is measured by the size of your behind, many people have resolved to reduce those proportions.

I am not here to tell you should lose weight or that you shouldn't. My rear related concerns are typically much more about the amount of pain I'm feeling post workout, because my trainer enjoys making us all do squats on an almost pathological level.

Your body is your problem and you are the one who needs to be comfortable about it, not me. But because this is a blog where I shoot off my mouth about things that annoy me, I'm going to tell you what annoys me about other people's bodies. Maybe even YOUR body.

Ready?

Here we go.

I hate it when people feel compelled to put their own bodies down. "waaaah. my butt is too big, my boobs are too small, I have a muffin top, these pants make my butt look big, I'm so hideous! I hate my nose/eyebrows/ears/other unspecified body part because goodness knows that if it's permanent we will find a way to declare it ugly and horrible."

We all have things about ourselves that make us unhappy, but these little spiels of misery are generally aimed at either fishing for compliments or bringing other people down to your level and I HATE THAT. My problems with my body are the ways that it limits me. I want to do more, I want to do it faster, and I want to do it perfect. That last one is unreasonable, because of the many things that I am? PERFECT IS NOT ON THE LIST. But I'm doing my best. Instead of whining about how I hate my thighs, I'm doing squats until my gluteous is feeling maximus amounts of pain the next day. I got news for you, that's not going to reduce the size of my thighs, but they do increase the muscle mass I have to kicking people's butts when they whine.

What do you think people are going to say to you when you go "oooh, I'm soooo hideous, I wish I looked like a movie star...ooooh I hate myself?" Are they going to say "you're right! Have you considered surgery?"

Or standing around talking about how bad you feel about your body because you're so fat or so bony or so something and and and ...and everyone around you is forced to compare themselves to you and think "ugh, if she's that skinny and she thinks she's fat she must think I'm a cow".

So please, take a moment to think through the negative feelings you have about your body. And then? Talk to a shrink, start a blog, write some bad poetry, but please, PLEASE don't come talking to me about it. It's your body! Love it! Hate it if you must, but keep your body negs out of my positive space.