So, I had intended to wait until Nov. 1 to really start this blog but I can't do it. Why? My inherent crankiness cannot be constrained, and the knowledge that I have created a place to vent it is too tempting to resist. With that said, let's talk about Trick or Treat. Like many places, my small town has decided to
move it to today, since Halloween proper is a Sunday this year.
I love Trick or Treat. I think the kids are super cute, and I live on a main street, so trust me, I see a lot of them. I also see a lot of people who have no business Trick or Treating trying to cadge some candy. Listen, does your baby have teeth? No? Then how is the kid going to eat the candy? They aren't, you are. Your kid is cute. Take them around, show them off, and buy your own damn candy.
Also, have you hit puberty? Have you begun to shave? Are you more than five feet tall and fifteen years old? If the answer to these questions is yes, why are you Trick or Treating? When I was a kid (back in the dark ages, clearly), my town had an ordinance that you couldn't Trick or Treat after age 14. We generally quit around age 12. When I was in college, we bought candy and handed it out to the kids who came around to the dorms and apartments.
Now I work at a college, and the students are telling that they're going to go Trick or Treating! This may seriously be the most ridiculous thing I've seen. And the worst part is, the totally do a crappy job on costumes. If you are too lazy to even so much as put on a costume and you knock on my door? NO CANDY FOR YOU. And if you are CLEARLY an adult, even if your costume is excellent, I'm not going to lie: you are getting the crappy candy. I am saving the Sweet Tarts and Bottle Caps for you, and no one else. Exception: The group that showed up as the entire gang from Scooby Doo last year. That took coordination and planning. You get chocolate. Everyone else? CRAPPY CANDY. Don't like it? BUY YOUR OWN CANDY AND STAY HOME!