Monday, November 1, 2010

In which I am cranky about pictures on Etsy

I love Etsy. Now, you may think that that is a weak way for a blog about crankiness to begin it's NaBloPoMo journey, but you would be wrong, and your judginess is irritating me. There are many things that I love that make me cranky, including the SyFy channel and most if not all of my family.

Now, for those of you who are not familiar with Etsy (and what rock have you been under?), it is a site that allows people to post their handmade crafts, their craft supplies (love the wool from the sheep your raised yourself, you crazy hippies) and their vintage items (vintage doesn't mean magic. Vintage doesn't even mean valuable, so dial it down on the $200 price tag for your grandma's salt and pepper shakers there, Antiques Roadshow.)

I love handcrafts, and I have purchased many things off of Etsy. I also love to window shop on the site. In order to do this, I need to look at pictures. And those pictures need to be good pictures. And by good, I don't mean "artsy" or "fartsy". Don't take the pictures with the Hipstamatic app on your iPhone. Don't take them from weird angles. Don't try to sell me a scarf by not wearing a shirt (and are you Michael Stipes? Wipe that crap off your face). The clothing sellers seem to be especially bad about it. If I am buying a skirt or dress, I need to know the length of the hem  and waist size and if it will make my butt look good. I do not need to know that it looks totally awesome when you lay draped all over a couch that probably came from Ikea or Goodwill. I appreciate that you have fabulous collar bones but that's not going to convince me to pay 78 dollars for that dress (although in fairness, nothing would convince me to pay 78 dollars for that dress). 

I want to know what I am getting. I am fairly sure I'm not going to get a skinny girl, Joan Holloway or your bra. And if all I come away with about the dress is that you look great in it? I'm not sold.

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