Monday, April 30, 2012


So someone in my twitter linked this article: about how some desserts at fast food places are worst for you than desserts at OTHER fast good places. I for one am shocked. SHOCKED I tell you.
Look, I get that some people need to have things explained to them, although I’ve never met any of these people who need quite this much help, but whatever. But articles like the one above are presenting  false equivalencies. A small ice cream sundae has fewer calories than a large chocolate shake? That’s great. But not really a fair comparison. How does it do calorie wise if you make the sundae a large or the shake a small? Frankly, the whole thing is a bit silly. A small ice cream has fewer calories than a large ice cream! Ice cream has more calories than apples! Hats go on your head! Shoes go on your feet! Obvious statements help no one!

The other day I was in a grocery store and saw a woman stop to look at the nutritional information on cupcakes. CUPCAKES. Here’s the thing, y’all. THEY ARE CUPCAKES. They have no nutritional value! They aren’t supposed to! The frosting is made of Red Dye #6 and the tears of kittens! EAT UP, IT IS DELICIOUS. I mean, are you kidding me? I look at the nutritional value on a loaf of bread to decide which one has less sugar and more fiber. However, I’m not comparing the nutritional data on cupcakes because…CUPCAKES.

No one needs to feel guilty about having a cupcake or a milkshake or an ice cream or whatever. Eat like a reasonable, grown-up person. Have meat and veggies and carbs and yes, even DESSERT without feeling like your deserve to be fat, should feel guilty, or that you’ve “been naughty”, because guess what? Adults aren’t naughty. Little bitty ol’ babies are naughty. Toddlers? Naughty. Grown-ups who had the nerve to eat what they wanted? NOT NAUGHTY. Unless it was my yogurt and you stole it out of the fridge in which case you are still not naughty, but you are kind of a douchebag and by kind of I mean totally.

In summation, sure. Think about what you are eating. Make good choices (this is my new slogan, btw. More on that to come). Eat what makes you feel good, and not just for five minutes, but for the day and the next day and the day after that and if that means eating grilled chicken breasts on a salad 5 days a week and horfing a six pack of mini cupcakes, well, I’m not judging you.

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