Hey, not to be all Seinfeld about it, but what IS the deal with phonics? do they still teach that in school? And isn't it weird that they don't spell phonics phonetically?

So, people who don't read confuse me AND make me cranky. "I don't like books." What is that? That's like saying "I don't like music" or "I don't like movies." What? How can you just not like books? There are so many different kinds of books! You just...don't like them all? You have no interest? What is that? I wish someone would explain it to me, because it makes no sense.

 How many books are there in the world? How can you read one or two in high school and then just assume there is nothing out there you would like to read? That makes no sense. The Scarlet Letter sucked, people. Don't write off literature at large because Hawthorne had issues, ok? Moby Dick is like an extra 200 pages long because Melville felt compelled to write extensively about rope tying, and teenagers who needed to slam the door and yell "you don't understand me" are probably the only people who really loved Catcher in the Rye.  So step away from your high school reading list and read something awesome, read something trashy, read something that sounds like V.C. Andrews had a baby with Stephanie Meyers (they could call it ReDawnsme), but for the love of Pete, read! Go to the library, ask for a recommendation. They actually teach us to do this in library school. It's called Reader's Advisory. We have mad book skills! Get help, get a library card, get a book, get a clue.

ARGH.

Here is a question about being cranky: why do people keep doing the same stupid crap over and over. It makes it hard to blog about NEW CRANKINESS. When I am once again overtaken by the morons that absolutely insist on blocking the road so they can finish their conversation. They make me want to repeat myself and it hasn't even been a month yet.

So here is a new level of crankiness: I hate when people walk up to the copier, read the sign that says it's ten cents a copy, and then come and ask me to make copies for them and when I ask them for their money just smile sheepishly and shrug. Guess I'll be keeping these copies then! I know you know better!

Since I blogged twice yesterday, today's will be brief.

The thing that is making me most cranky today is my own lack of skill. There are things that I want to do that can't achieve and things that I am doing that I can't complete in the way I want to. I know the only way to improve is to keep working, but it feels so frustrating to work hard on something and not be totally satisfied with the end product.

The real beauty is between the covers.

I know I just posted but the cranky is burning within!

BOOKS ARE NOT DECORATIONS. Books ARE beautiful. And they smell good. The design of old books, the soft leather covers on some, the colorful boards of others are undoubtedly decorative. I have shelves and shelves full of the books and I consider them gorgeous.

That said. Books are for reading. If you are one of those people who sells, or heaven forbid, BUYS books by the foot, I would like to punch you. I just saw a listing on etsy for a "Dicken's book stack" that they described as "shabby chic" which is stupid in almost too many ways to count.

To choose a used book, I might choose the prettiest cover. This is true. But I would not buy a stack of Dicken's books because they are pretty unless they were also books I wanted to read. There are millions and millions of books in the world. Who has time to decorate with books they don't care to read? Who wants to keep a stack of books tied together with ribbon? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?

I own a truly lovely copy of Hiawatha. It's smalller than average, just about the size of my palm. It's fat and colorful and altogether charming. I do not have it on display, and the only time other people have seen it is when I have taken it somewhere to read because it is the perfect size to fit into my bag.

Buy books to read them. But buying them to fill a space? You'd be better off to have left the shelves as empty as your head apparently is.

A is for Apple, R is for Respect

Children's lit! I love it. As previously noted, I went to the new Harry Potter movie last night, and while, in my opinion, all of the movies have been well-done, the books are better. Children's lit and Young adult lit make for great movies (and terrible movies, I am looking at you, all of you people who were involved in every Dr. Seuss adaptation that was not the original animated Grinch). People grow up reading and loving the same books their parents did, and the new books, like Harry Potter, come along and steal our hearts and sweep the world.

And yet. People scoff. People are dismissive. You read a YA book waiting in the doctor's office, and you get asked "why are you reading that? that's kid stuff."

Ah. Well. A good book is a good book. Children's authors create worlds the rest of us can't dream of, whether they're on Prince Edward Island or at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. We remember them for years, think of the characters as old friends. Hold on to copies to pass on to sons and daughters (and nieces and nephews).

So why oh why do they merit a sneer?

There are very few things that make me crankier than this. I'm not telling you that you have to limit yourself to "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" for the rest of your life. But these books stand the rest of time for a reason. They deserve to be read and reread with love and respect. Maybe you don't need to read Dr. Seuss on the subway, but don't  hide your Frances Hodgsen Burnett or Louisa May Alcott. Be out! Be proud! And the scoffers say "excuse me, I need to get back to my book. These characters are much more interesting than you."

Turn off your phone and be quiet (and I won't hate you)

Tonight I am going to the movies. Like everyone else on the planet I am going to see the new Harry Potter. This is a good moment to talk about bad movie manners.

Turn off your phone. I don't just mean turn off the sound. I mean TURN OFF YOUR PHONE. We can see the glowing screen as you facebook and text and tweet about what you are doing and it is annoying. If you at the movies be at the movies. Short of waiting to hear about the birth or death of a loved one - it can wait. If you are tweeting about being at a movie while in the movie you are probably doing one of two things. Either posting spoilers (in which case, die) or you are repeatedly posting things like "omg this is so awesome" (in which case shut up). Turn the phone off.

And while I am telling you not to talk on your phone I would like to encourage you not to talk at all. This includes some of my friends who insist on talking to me which 1) I can't even hear them so it's pointless and 2) it's annoying to me and all the people around us. And if you aren't my friend then don't talk to your friends. Basically, whoever you are if the previews have started, shut it. (If you are one of my friends I say that with love.)

And finally. Harry Potter is a children's movie. But it is not appropriate for all ages. Please think about your kids and only take them to movies that they can hanle. And once you get them there enforce behavior standards. Your kid is cute but f they kick my seat, throw their food or scream all through the movie it doesn't matter how cute they are. I will dislike them and hate you.

Have some movie manners and no one needs to be cranky. But I probably will be anyway.

Mary Mary Quite Contrary, that is a stupid argument and I want to punch you.

What is up with people who have to argue about EVERYTHING. Like. I am cranky. Crankiness is part of my essential nature. But I once had a guy argue with me about whether water had a taste. Does water from different sources taste different? THEN IT HAS A TASTE.

Today, that same guy was arguing (not with me, though I got drawn in just by walking into the room) about whether education has value. Or specifically, about whether having a degree has value. His opinion - it does not. When he had the tangible value of  say, assisting you in getting a job pointed out, he argued that that wasn't fair, and that they don't even check to see if you did well in your studies and that it's no replacement for experience. And...ok, but that doesn't mean having a degree doesn't apply. "I think it's unfair that having a degree might be more valuable than equivalent experience" is a different argument than "my degree has no practical value."

And it strikes me that these people...these contrarians who insist are on arguing about everything, are terrible at it. As much as they insist on turning everything into an argument, you'd think they'd be better at it. If you want to convince me that Macs are better than PCs, you have to explain to me how they meet MY needs better, not how they meet YOUR needs better. I'm not using a computer the way you are, so that's a bad argument. And also "because they're better and I like them better" is also a terrible argument. It is nt persuasive.

And also, these people tend to change their arguments midstream. If they can't persuade you, or if, worse yet, you manage to prove them wrong, they'll pretend that they were arguing the same point as you all along!

Sometimes! Facts are just facts. Reality is just reality. And if you want to disprove that? Practice your debate skills. because  "I am right because of this unrelated point" is  not going to make me agree with you.