Pile it On, Jezebels

Ah, Jezebel. I enjoy reading you. I find many of your articles interesting, educational, informative and funny. I also find them repetitive, strident, and hypocritical with all of your feel good, pro woman, anti-bodysnarking, let's pat ourselves on the back for our own progressiveness. you want to talk about how you support women and then you pick someone to pile on. It's Taylor Swift or Taylor Momsen or Gwyneth Paltrow and you post article after article about how they are overexposed or egotistical or shallow or blah blah blah. And then in the comments it's a pile on from the commenters, all falling over themselves to agree, and then you get "yes, Taylor Swift should just shut up" and "I hate Taylor Swift, her music is so shallow". or "Gwyneth Paltrow should just stop talking" and "She's so out of touch with reality." And then someone will post a .gif of either Anthony Hopkins or Heath Ledger as the Joker clapping and congratulations, you are SUPER CLEVER.

And then. Then you get one person who says "Also, I feel like Gwyneth Paltrow is too skinny" And suddenly there are 15 comments pointing the person to the "no body snarking policy" and while it's great that there is a no body snarking policy, it's hardly less anti-woman or less negative to regularly tell women that they should shut up, or that there experiences aren't valid because they are white and pretty, or to call them stupid or shallow. So you can keep patting yourself on the back, but don't delude yourself into thinking that making a policy that protects one aspect of women while allowing ever other part of them to be attacked, and then allowing your bloggers to lead the attack somehow elevates you to the most feminist group of bloggers on the web. It's completely disingenuous and the idea that you're setting some kind of standard is ridiculous.

Jezebel is hardly the only website to pull this crap. Oh No They Didn't has favorites that come and go and people who get slagged on for everything from their weight to the last movie they were in, but the primary difference is that ONTD isn't holding itself up like a beacon into the light. The internet is full of blogs who have a flavor of the week and then turn on them and find someone new to exalt. And while many of the blogs out there are total trash, (Perez Hilton and TMZ come to mind) and least they aren't pretending like taking trips down the path to social consciousness means that the stupid crap they pull is somehow negated. Get a grip. And a clue.

Forgive and Forget, Relive and Regret

So let's address the topic of forgiveness. And grudgeholding. And how sometimes you can forgive somebody while still being so totally mad at them. And by you, of course, I mean me.

The original title of this post was actually "Just because I've forgive you, doesn't mean I'm not still mad (so quit trying to hug me)." Everyone makes mistakes. I see and understand this as a fact. I myself, am terribly mistake prone. From major mistakes, like "should have checked my car's oil more often, because it started making noises and it turns out, there was no oil" to "curse my poor depth perception, I think I broke my toe." And sometimes I make mistakes regarding other people, and hurt someone's feelings (or feet) and then I have to apologize (even if I occasionally believe the real mistake is that they don't see that I am the one who is right).  And sometimes people do things that I consider mistakes and they apologize.

And so we come to a point that is both a character flaw and a PERFECTLY REASONABLE ATTITUDE. I can forgive you. I can reach down in my heart and acknowledge your apology. But that does not mean I am over whatever it is that you did (I am trying to stay generic. People I know IRL are reading this).

I appreciate your apology. And I will forgive you. But...my feelings may still be hurt. My temper may still be hot, I may be asking God for the strength to forgive you and also for the power to set you on fire with my mind. So please, give me time. Don't do something incredibly stupid and think that just because you've apologized, the issue has resolved itself. Don't think that because I've forgiven you, I've forgotten what you did to make me mad. Don't try to hug me and act like we are best friends when in reality, we're really just returning to borderline tolerance. Forgiveness is fine. One of the most valuable things we can give another person. But it doesn't wipe away the act that needed forgiveness in the first place, and depending on what happened, my relationship with you may never bounce back. And the more you act like nothing ever happened and let's hold hands and sing Kumbaya about it? Well, we're back to me trying to set things on fire with my mind.

ARGH

I have a run in my stockings! In all my stockings! In every pair of pantyhose I own! I haven't worn them since last winter and apparently, last winter I totally destroyed EVERY PAIR I OWN. Today was too warm for tights. Too cold to go barelegged. I went through all my remaining pairs of hose, discarded most of them and pulled on the one pair I thought would make it through the day. I was SO, SO WRONG. Listen. I don't hate pantyhose. They make it possible to wear skirts year round. But why oh why oh why do they have to be SO POORLY MADE?

Not that cranky

Today I am mostly cranky about the fact that some people in my life(people I would hug voluntarily!) are sad and there is nothing I can do to help them. Also, I am having some minor car problems. So instead of a post about something silly and cranky, I am going to skip it today. Instead, let's think about things that make us happy, like watching Sanctuary on the SyFy channel, and also the SyFy channels many terrible movies. I'm reading some excellent books, and my preordered copy of Robin McKinley's latest, Pegasus, finally came in. Let us set aside the crankiness for one night, and embrace the things that make us happy.

What Can Brown do for me? Figure out my address, for starters.

Now, I am specifically cranky about UPS today. This is not to say that the USPS is better. And FedEx is only ahead of the game because hardly anyone ships with them. And what did UPS do to inspire my ire? Why, they delivered my packaged to the wrong house. My package full of my sister's rather spendy Christmas present. They left it on someone else's porch! Isn't that lovely?

This is not the first time this has happened. I frequently get packages for my neighbors. And speaking of Fed-Ex, one winter I was home sick with bronchitis, and a variety of infections in basically every part of my head, and I'm pretty sure the Fed-Ex guy stopped even trying to deliver things to my neighbors because he knew I would be home.

I understand that living in a row of townhouses can make the addresses confusing. And I understand that having small building numbers doesn't help the issue. But y'all, taking a wild guess and ditching the package at the first one you come to? IS NOT THE ANSWER. You are professional package deliverers! Figure it out! Stop someone and ask. Use your eyes and look around. But don't just ditch people's packages!

A litte bit cranky, a little bit....also cranky

A few cranky thoughts on things that are not what they pretend to be:

White Chocolate, you are not chocolate. You don't taste like chocolate. There is no cocoa in you. You are insufficiently delicious in comparison. You should find a new name. Like "white candy that tastes ok, I guess, sometimes, if you're in the mood for it."

Kleenex with Lotion, you are no Puffs Plus. I try to use you when I am sick, you do not sooth my nose, you make my nose sadder. You do not have enough of the lotions, and it makes me sad.

Country songs about how totally real and country you are. I love me some country music. And some songs about being country are awesome.



Some songs about how country you are are not awesome. That new song by the LoCash Cowboys. That's totally awful. ALSO, songs about how totally patriotic you are. Daryl Worley, I am totally looking at you. It can be done right! It can be done well. But that's probably not how you're doing it, so please, stop.

Lead, Follow or Get out of my Way

Today I went fabric shopping. I am a novice sewer, and am just learning some of the most basic skills. I have made several skirts, a few aprons, and with great amounts of assistance, one fleece vest. I have decided that it is time to expand my repertoire, and with an expert assistant (my mom), I have set out to do just that. I am working on making a flannel bath robe (it's the snuggliest!), and am going to try making a pair of workout pants and a pair of dress pants. So today I visited Hancock's Fabrics and Hobby Lobby. Now, as far as it goes, these places are like crafty Nirvana. Michael's only wins me over with it's excellent bead selection. If they would suck it up and start selling fabric, they could have my heart forever. As it is, my loyalties are divided.

What none of these places has over the other, however, is decisive customers. I love a craft store. I can spend HOURS in a craft store. Next to a bookstore, they are my favorite kind of store. But once I'm in line, I know what I want. I do not get in line to have fabric cut and stand there dithering, holding up the line and watching it get longer when I try to decide just how much fabric I need. If I don't know, I hop out of line and reassess. Why? Because everyone in line may be smiling and being patient and sweet, but inside, we're hoping your fabric isn't flame retardant and that you use a lot of candles. MAKE A DECISION.

Don't wait until you're being rung up at the checkout to decide if you really need those 50% off candle holders. The person standing behind you is thinking about braining you with one. Miss Scarlet, in the (Hobby) Lobby, with the candle stick. That's your future.

Don't park your cart in the middle of the aisle while you dither over the pink ribbon versus the baby pink ribbon. Move to one side so that those of us who have a list and a clue can get in, get out and get on with our lives.

And finally, a call back to a previous post where I mention that patterns make me crazy...the one for the bathrobe? gave the wrong fabric allowance. Good times, everyone. Good times.