A few cranky thoughts on things that are not what they pretend to be:
White Chocolate, you are not chocolate. You don't taste like chocolate. There is no cocoa in you. You are insufficiently delicious in comparison. You should find a new name. Like "white candy that tastes ok, I guess, sometimes, if you're in the mood for it."
Kleenex with Lotion, you are no Puffs Plus. I try to use you when I am sick, you do not sooth my nose, you make my nose sadder. You do not have enough of the lotions, and it makes me sad.
Country songs about how totally real and country you are. I love me some country music. And some songs about being country are awesome.
Some songs about how country you are are not awesome. That new song by the LoCash Cowboys. That's totally awful. ALSO, songs about how totally patriotic you are. Daryl Worley, I am totally looking at you. It can be done right! It can be done well. But that's probably not how you're doing it, so please, stop.