Monday, December 6, 2010

All Temperatures Fahrenheit (so don't make me come over there, Canadians)

I suspect that some of you may believe me to currently be hunched over my desk with a top hat a terrible muttonchops, muttering "bah, humbug" in the most ridiculously Scrooge-esque way possible, while depriving my work study students of the extra lumps of coal they need to keep themselves warm as they toil to craft ever more elaborate bulletin board decorations. But you would be wrong! (Except the part about the work study students. I am not buying a space heater for the reference desk, and if they're cold, they can keep their coats on like the rest of us.)

In truth, I love the Christmas season! This is despite my earlier diatribe about Thanksgiving getting the shaft. Just because I love Christmas doesn't mean it needs to start on Halloween, is what I'm saying.

It is snowing loads today and looking all nice and seasonal-y and I love it. It's sticking to the grass, not the streets, and is a balmy 25 (feels like 14) degrees out. So why are people throwing up their hands in despair, with a wailing and gnashing of teeth? It's December. The high this week is going to be 46 and we ought to be glad to get it. (Please note that none of these statements will prevent me from complaining about the 105 degree weather in July. Just so we're clear, I'm aware of the hypocrisy, I just don't care.) Anyway, as far as I'm concerned it could snow a few feet and I'd be happy as a clam. Possibly happier as no one has ever produced a convincing argument for unusually high levels of happiness in clams. Which I discovered I was allergic to this year! Where's the Reverb10 category for that? (What did I make this year? The discovery that shellfish gives me hives!)

Also, I realize not everyone celebrates Christmas. I'm sorry if you feel put upon by the omnipresence of this holiday. Yes, I know Jesus was probably born in the spring. I'm aware that Christmas was placed where it was on the Roman calendar to make it easier to co-opt the holiday from people celebrating the Solstice. If you currently celebrate the Solstice, I hope your holiday is lovely. I respect other people's holidays and traditions as best I can, and I hope that those people would be willing to do the same for me. So people who feel the need to pendantically use this time to point out everything that you believe is wrong with the Judeo-Christian tradition, and that you hate the Christmas Christmas Christmas that is in the stores this time of you...please take time out to quit crapping on my holiday spirit and suck it.

Happy Holidays!

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