Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Drunks in the Basement or How about you get a hobby, moron?

Ok. In the interest of full disclosure, let's start this with a little honesty. the only booze in my life is tucked away in the back of my baking cupboard, and has been used twice...for making biscochitos. And that's the closest I've come to booze since I was 22 and went on thyroid medication, and off the good stuff. And even when I could drink, drinking to excess never appealed to me. That said, I don't believe that it invalidates what I am about to say.

And what I am about to say is this:


I understand that when we first reach legal drinking age (and for some of us, prior to that) alcohol has the boozy appeal of being a grown up and yet having an excuse to act like a moron. And even now, I can see the appeal of having a drink with dinner, or kicking back with a glass of wine (and by wine, I mean a daquiri...I miss you, daquiris). But there must come a time when you think to yourself "I am too old for this crap," and put down the beer bong.

I recently encountered a group of fully grown adults having a little bit of a college reunion who had not seen each other in about ten years. And so what did they decide was the best way to celebrate their reunion?

By going to Applebees to drink. Applebees, y'all. Is that not the saddest thing you have heard all week?

So we're clear all of these guys are around 37 or so.

Is it just me? Doesn't it seem like there should

Ok. This post has been derailed bu a commercial of the Charmin bears rubbing toilet paper on themselves and cuddling while fake Barry White plays. then we get mysterious blue liquid and then cuddling on the couch. And either their is a toilet in the living room or a couch and a fireplace in their bathroom. And she sits on the couch and watches him go. Is it a one room cave and they've developed a scatological fetish? And where are the little bears that are in all the other commercials?

Listen bears, I didn't say anything when you did the bit with the telescope and the clinging paper. I let the toilet paper destroying an entire lake for one fish thing slide. But this? I can't let this pass. What is wrong with you people? This is sick.

Anyway, I've lost my momentum, but in conclusion, drinking just to get drunk eventually goes from "what kids do" to either "pathetic" or "maybe you should go to AA."

Ok, I'm still stuck on the bears. I don't even know. Judge for yourselves.

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