World, it is time to talk about an important problem, and that is hugging. Why does everyone feel like they need to hug people nowadays? Listen. I don't know you that well. I don't need to come into close personal contact with you. It's not my thing. Quit trying to make hugs happen. I hate that. I hate the idea that I'm under some obligation to hug total strangers. I hate the idea that if I don't hug them, I'm somehow mean, or unkind. It's very nice to meet you, but how about we shake hands?
And whatever happened to hand shakes? Do people just not do that anymore? My Tupperware lady discovered I don't like hugging people I don't really know so she decided to fistbump me. I was totally confused. It was both hilarious and sad and so, so awkward. Really? A nice handshake wouldn't do it? A high five? Are we so confused by people having personal space boundaries that it turns into a last minute panic trying to find an alternative?
I hug people. People I like. People I know. People I am related to. People I have met one time? NO HUGS FOR YOU. And that bothers people. Why? Why do those people even want a hug? To enforce some imaginary level of intimacy that we haven't actually enjoyed? My personal space is valuable to me, and that means I don't want you all up in it.